I'm so in love. :]

I just can't do it anymore. I'm so frustrated I'm ready to pull my hair out and throw my tenor into a brick wall. Life as I know it is crumbling. People are chipping away at my foundation waiting for me to fall. I don't even know where to begin. It seems like no matter what I do to try and make myself stronger and feel better all that happens is that I feel worse. People mock me and don't bother to try and understand the personal hell I'm going through. I've had people doubt my relationships with others not knowing whats going on in my life and why I lean on my friends more than is "normal" or "socially accepted". Battling depression as a college student is hard. Dealing with the stuff my family is going through while being 100+ miles away is nearly impossible. Now when I go home I feel alienated because I don't know what's going on with everyone. History is repeating itself - again. So many people have abandoned me and stabbed me in the back before and now they're doing it again. I haven't done anything but said a friendly "Hi" and they want me out of their life and away from their friends. I watch as my "friends" go out with each other and don't even think to invite me along, or I sit and listen to them talk about all their fun times that they have that I wasn't invited to. I seem to be an afterthought these days. Even with my own family. They'll leave me at home alone "forgetting" that I was there. Let's not even start on school.  I feel like no matter how hard I try - I fail. I have a 2.43 GPA after one semester. It was supposed to be an "easier" semester and what do I have to show? A C average. I need a B average to get into the major that I want. I rarely go out and all I do is study. I don't sleep anymore. On average I get 1 full night of sleep every 4-5 days. I feel so energy deprived and I don't want to do anything. I can't get out of bed in the morning without having a 10 minute argument with myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm helpless and have no one that can help me anymore.